Simplify the Holidays: 5 Ways to Find Calm in the Chaos
The holidays promise joy… yet somehow they often bring the opposite.
Between school concerts, work parties, family expectations, and the pressure to “make it magical,” December can start to feel like one long to-do list. If you live with ADHD or you’re already juggling a lot, the extra noise, clutter, and decisions can be especially overwhelming.
But it doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing: full Grinch or full Hallmark movie.
You’re allowed to make this season simpler, slower, and kinder to your nervous system.
Here are five ways to simplify the holidays so you can actually enjoy them again.
1. Choose fewer, more meaningful commitments
Most of us treat the holiday calendar like a puzzle: how can I fit everything in?
A better question is: what actually matters to me (and my family) this year?
Try this:
Make a quick list of every event, tradition, or obligation you’re considering.
Put a star beside the ones that feel genuinely joyful or important.
Circle the ones that feel heavy, guilt-driven, or “we’ve always done it.”
Give yourself permission to:
Say yes to the starred items only
Say a gentle no to anything that’s mostly obligation
Skip a tradition for this year (it doesn’t have to be gone forever)
If you have ADHD, social fatigue or decision fatigue can sneak up on you. Protecting a few “unscheduled” nights each week is a form of self-care. Think of them as buffer days between busy events.
Your presence is more valuable than your packed schedule.
2. Try the 4-Gift Rule (and simplify shopping)
Holiday shopping can turn into an endless scroll: one more deal, one more thing, one more “just in case.”
The 4-Gift Rule is a simple way to keep gifting thoughtful without letting it take over your budget, your brain, or your space:
Something they want
Something they need
Something to wear
Something to read
You can adapt this for your family, partner, or even for yourself. The magic is not in the exact categories—it’s in the limits.
To make this even easier:
Keep a running note on your phone with ideas under each category.
Set a spending range for each person before you shop.
Choose one or two stores (or websites) and stick to those only.
Less time shopping = more time actually enjoying the people you love.
3. Simplify your spaces before the season takes over
Holiday clutter doesn’t just show up in January. It starts in November: decorations, extra dishes, gift wrap, school papers, event notices… and suddenly every surface is “temporary storage.”
Instead of aiming for a full deep clean, focus on small, strategic resets in the spaces you use most:
Clear and wipe the kitchen counters so you have a calm surface for baking, crafting, or dropping groceries.
Reset the entryway: shoes, coats, and bags organized so coming and going is easier.
Declutter the living room coffee table or side tables to make room for drinks, games, and cozy nights in.
Make a simple “incoming stuff” basket for holiday cards, school notices, and random bits that don’t have a home yet.
If you’re ADHD-brained, think visual and obvious systems:
Open baskets instead of lids
Clear labels
One “drop zone” for each person (hook + basket combo works wonders)
You don’t need a perfectly organized house. You just need a few clear, calm zones that support how you actually live in December.
4. Protect quiet time like it’s an event
The holidays can make it feel like every moment should be “productive” or “special.” But your body and brain still need regular down time.
This week, try scheduling rest the way you would a party or appointment:
Block out one evening for a low-key night at home.
Plan a slow weekend morning with no alarms and no plans until noon.
Take a short walk alone after dinner to clear your head.
Build in a 10–15 minute “reset break” between outings to decompress.
If it’s on the calendar, it’s real.
For ADHD folks, unplanned rest often turns into accidental doom-scrolling and then guilt. Planned rest, with a simple idea attached—“I’m going to drink tea and read for 20 minutes”—makes it easier to follow through and actually feel restored.
5. Let go of “perfect” (for real this time)
Perfect is usually what steals our joy in December:
The perfect tree
The perfect menu
The perfectly wrapped gifts
The perfectly clean home before guests arrive
But the moments we remember most rarely have anything to do with perfect.
Burned cookies, mismatched wrapping paper, kids in slightly-wrinkled outfits, a bit of clutter around the edges—these are signs of real life, not failure.
Try a few “good enough” swaps:
Store-bought pie instead of homemade everything
One signature dish you love making instead of a complicated spread
Simple brown paper and twine or reusable gift bags instead of elaborate wrapping
A “lived-in tidy” home instead of a spotless one
Remind yourself:
My people need me present, not perfect.
A gentle note for ADHD brains
If you live with ADHD, the holidays can feel like an obstacle course of:
last-minute emails
time-sensitive school things
extra sensory input (lights, noise, crowded spaces)
constant schedule changes
You are not “bad at the holidays.” The season is simply not designed with your brain in mind.
A few ADHD-friendly ideas:
Use one central calendar (digital or paper) and put everything on it.
Set alarms for events and for “leave the house now” time.
Keep a “December drop spot” by the door for event tickets, forms, and outgoing items.
Choose one holiday project at a time and let the others wait.
Your brain deserves systems that support it, not shame it.
This season, simplify on purpose
You don’t have to do all the things to have a meaningful holiday season.
You’re allowed to:
say no
rest
choose simple traditions
protect your energy
let go of what doesn’t fit your life right now
Less noise. More meaning.
Less pressure. More peace.
If you’d love some support creating calmer systems and clearer spaces—during the holidays or in the New Year—Simplify Life is here to help.
👉 Ready to step into the season feeling lighter?
[Contact us] (or “Email info@simplifylife.ca”) to book a session and start simplifying your space, your schedule, and your to-do list.
